yabs

Distant... Numb from the tragedies of life and living. Surrounded by the fools and slaves of need. Crowded by people who show no shame. Flooded by hate and love that we try to make sense of. The senses, overpowered by bitterness flowing out from the brim of sanity. Crashing into nothingness. Burning from the pain and the inability to express what should have been said years ago. Raging like vengeful wildfire, un-calmed by the constant rain. Unsuppressed by the calm rivers that are a mere step away. Burning with the worst fuel possible...helplessness. The world is negative in the eyes of the cynic. Untrusting and contemptuous. But I believe... I believe in human nature. I distrust as much as you do in the instinct of man. Yet ultimately I am alive. The length of my existence does not dictate my character. The truth is never really true. And the lies, oh the lies! They are the tools of a once optimistic man. Looking for a crack, a crevasse an single drop of hope. Do not bank you soul on hope. Invest it on what you have today. Forget your quest for someone to love you. Instead, love who you have. Love those who have waited for an eternity to be loved. Do not expect reciprocation, but acknowledge it when it comes. We do not have the leisure of predicting what we get or expecting to get all of what we worked for. Even the lowly farmer, a man  who invested in sweat and tears loses part of what he works for to the vermin of his land, the parasites of his kingdom. Still he manages to live on. Provides for his family and himself. As sure as I live, I can stand here and tell you; I have loved and lost. I have shared and have been abused. I lived with greed. I lived with freedom. I remember happiness less than I remember pain. Are we not the same? Doomed to live. Doomed to expire. It does not matter what I have done. It does not matter who I loved or who has loved me. What matters as of now is what I have not done. That is what should keep me going.