yabs

I swear someday I will be able to write accurately about the pain I feel inside. It will be so intense and heartfelt that each reader would feel like ripping his/her heart out just to prevent themselves from feeling what I describe from my heart and soul. They would cry and feel the significance that a broken heart like mine screams. I would write so intent on detailing each and every painful tear that flows out from my eyes down to the wounds in my heart.

Each word I use will be beyond poetry and shake their psyche to the point of utter depression. I want to tell the world of this agony as if everything else was trivial. I would talk about "her" and how I ripped my heart out slowly through each unbearably agonizing second just to show her that nothing else mattered.

Their stomachs will turn and their resolve shaken. Where whenever they remember my pain, it becomes their pain too. The tears will well-up inside and drop like rain at each release of their own pain relating to my own.

I want to write in such a way that even when I read it I will feel my own pain ten times over. All that just to emphasize my raw horror. Where they will know that each beat of my heart feels like a million pins stabbing my old and battered emotions.

That is how I want to write someday. So that all will know what it is I really feel beyond the poetry and the eloquence I try so hard to maintain. I want each one to know that when I shed a tear I cry a river. That when I write poetry I rip and leave a piece of my soul with it.

But until then. This is the best that I can do. This inadequate pool of words that disgust me with its ineffectivity.