yabs

In the recent events that I willingly bathed in depression, wallowing in the melodrama that I created for myself, I came to realize that my muse of choice (depression) was a curse that I could no longer bear.

Recent romance and that burning desire to end this lonliness ended up in bitter defeat. I was at fault based on my own choices. My taste in women, my preference in friends, the vices that I became dependent on and my very own views have all led to my current status.

Here I set my brand new goals and this new outlook in life. Today I awoke to a moment of clarity reinforced by the events that I heard and saw. With this, I finally realized that the "dream" I had for myself, a goal I tried so hard to attain was in truth a nightmare that I proudly survived and learned from. Thanks to everyone who showed their true colors, those who disappointed me, those who were good to me and those who shattered my ego. Because of you and the colors you brought, I can finally paint my own life.

1. I changed the image I retained for so long
2. I cut the ties that needed to be severed
3. I learned who my true friends are
4. I will control myself and my base emotions
5. I will write firm and true
6. I have sent out resumés
7. I have removed the illusion of writing as a career
8. I shall remain silent and soft spoken
9. I will shed a tear for family and no one else
10. I will be cautious and know what to go for and what to avoid

These are my top ten. Followed by more well thought- out decisions. This is my new day... My new life... The funeral of past dramas and the birth of a better tomorrow. March 1, 2009.