yabs

After the series of unfortunate events for the first quarter of this year, I am hell-bent on making sure this second quarter will be milked for all the good fortune its worth (referring to "A Series Of Unfortunate Events" blog entry).

Drama and tragedy move out of the way! This April, May and June will be a blast! I'll make sure of that even if it kills me in the process... hahahaha

Here's something I wrote:

Second Quarter

Farewell to heartbreak
These tears will not flow
Goodbye to drama
And things out of control

No more sickness
Nor physical pain
No more bowing down
In absolute shame

These doors are now closed
To mishaps and accidents
Starting this very day
Fortune is a permanent resident

And in full hope
I pray death will not return
We have experienced too much
We do not need another burn

Second quarter of this year
Has strong started today
Hoping luck and success
Will come to stay

yabs

I am a wellspring
Of experience
And pool of knowledge
But I never learn my lesson

All because I am a slave
A slave to my emotions
A prisoner of longing
Tainted by failure

My words are a testament
To my experience
My foolishness a testament
To my stubborn youth

I am a tired, battered old man
In a 28 year-old body
A crying soul
In a smiling shell

Another drama king
With a non-formulaic storyline
A commoner
Bearing unique gifts

Extraordinary pain
Contained in an ordinary vessel
Living a flawed life
In a perfectionist world

yabs

These old eyes
Can still smile
Though tears
Maybe their last memory

These old eyes
Can still gleam
Though pain
Should have left them dull

The intense fades
Into a lesson in memory
New days come
To fill the void of the past

These old eyes
Can still smile
Still the windows
To the soul

Things do change
By chance or by will
To challenge who we are
And to mold who we become

These old eyes
Will smile with passion
For I refuse to be a pawn
In my own changing life

yabs

Deep were these wounds
But shallow was the cause
Valuing what had no value
Caring for the careless

Blaming poor judgement
For the abundance of tears
Unknowingly praising Judas
And being his loyal friend

Waking up one day
To put things in perspective
And seeing these "treasures"
For the garbage they truly are

Now is a new start
Rough as it may have begun
Now is a new day
Old blinding drama, I shun

None has been worth it
None will ever be
Quite cautious am I
For betrayal is a common disease

yabs

Memories are my enemy
Leaving me deformed
And undesired

The constant battery
I endured forever and a day

My unrealized hope
A second path I did not see
Now too far behind

The hope remains
As all things change

This ugly form
I have grown into
Caused by discomforting virtue

I fumble, I fail
I mixed my words

Yet these words
Are still my outlet
My never-ending retreat

I found beauty
In this ugliness

All I needed to do
Was look in the mirror
And learn to smile again

yabs

The cinders
Of dependent desire
Is slowly dying
As I invoke immortality

The warnings failed
Where a request succeeded
In this addiction to poison
Which I thought I needed

I rationalize, I listen
I feel and I notice
This retreat is necessary
For an undisrupted life

Twenty-one minutes
Added to my future
Courtesy of concern
From a pleasant princess

Trial number one
An attempt to cut back
A success so far
My new proud moment

Filled with the urge
But not as intense
An effort so difficult
But completely in reach

yabs

I see that smile
That pleasant aura
This undescribable mystery
That is Lady Asia

Astute and observant
Intriguing and sweet
An attractive enigma
A serene treat

A positivity unbendable
An innocence so visible
Her voice is her vessel
Her smile is her cure

Today Lady Asia
Has fueled my words
These thoughts are awakened
By this poem's muse

Plucked from this limbo
Of unexpressed ideas
My mind has opened
And has begun a new verse

yabs

Lightly I tread
She, my mother world
I, the son of tragedy
He, the brother of caution

My eyes
My lips
My heart
Knew nothing more

Daring to be bold
To rekindle this fire anew
The fruits of inspiration
I offered to the heavens
(it showered back to me...)

My precious soul
I tried to buy back
Bartering with pieces of silver
Of bloody rubies and of gold

The trinkets of fortune
Inner machinations of fame
Yet only through these words
Did I earn this peace

Sleeping soundly
Among the snoring masses
Amid the screaming ghouls
That consumed all serenity

The banshees and heralds
Of once and before
All fade like the mist
As I regain my sanity

The blooms of shrouded Hazel
Lady Asia garbed in pink
A metamorphosis of visions
Aiding my mind to clearly think

(THANK YOU! You don't know how much this means to me)

yabs

Words tainted with lies
That come so naturally
Even more normal
Than speaking the truth

The world of the real
Isn't where we want to live
It lacks the appeal
Of a world set in dreams

The fantasies
And exciting lies
Are more alluring
Extremely interesting

Until we are wounded
By the lies of others
The fake people
And their illusions

The only real thing
In this world of lies
Is the blades of poison
That cut us deeply

We bleed profusely
And as we try to heal
Each cloth we grab
Turns into smoke

In this counterfeit world
We started with one lie
To make us seem interesting
We ended up living a farce

yabs

To work with words
So beautiful and intense
To write with passion
As if in love or in pain

To close these eyes
And see even clearer
To describe an image
With no hesitation nor fear

A smile is more than a smile
An emotion more than plain
Through words from within
To outward expressions

Laughter set to sorrow
Sorrow set to bliss
Words that best describe it
Things otherwise we would miss

Through the pen
Or this keyboard
Unto paper
Or the screen

The power of writing
And reading as well
Rooted in satisfaction
Expressed through description

Pleased with the outcome
At least until the next thought
Then the cycle turns again
Something new written out

Each poem I write
Is a challenge for the next
Obsessed with the goal
Of outdoing my best

yabs

A harlequin of indecisivemess
An infection so malignant
So difficult to rectify
Yet so easy to worsen

This ominous presence looms
Malevolently stalking its victims
Non-discriminating nor sympathetic
No matter how we implore, beseech or beg

Their poison passing through our veins
Crawling underneath our skin
Erupting from our pores
Causing twitches and spasms

They make us look bad
As if we are the ones that are evil
Their lies corrupt us in the eyes of others
Making us suffer for sins not our own

While they bask in their illusions
Living among us "monsters"
Unnoticed by the masses
Feeding on other men

Pulling everyone else down
To make themselves feel superior
Parasites pretending to be honorable
Until their lies consume them

When reality finally sets in
No paradigm of what is or isn't
Just pure merciless reality
Let us see who and what remains

yabs

Balance...

I believe Somewhere out there
Is another "Me"
That balances my existence
Allowing me to exist

Its an idea that I love to ponder upon

Somewhere out there
Is a version of "You"
That lives because you live
Breathes because you breathe

Living because of each other

Someone that compliments us
And has the answers to our questions
Just as we, as balance dictates,
Have answers to their questions too

Finding answers for our other self

Every smile they make
Is a tear from our eyes
And each sorrow for them
Is bliss on our end

Both poetic and existential

yabs

A dark shadow loomed
Blanketing my world

My recovering soul
Is drenched in tears
And haunted by nightmares

This menacing storm cloud
Floated over me

I unknowingly built an obelisk
From stones of hate
And boulders of sorrow

A monolithic tribute
To the cruel hand of fate

There it stood
As if it was mocking me
At each glance I took

Then I realized what I did
I poured my pain into this

Now I know where this pain lies
It now stays still in the abyss
I can now run from it

And so I ran until it faded from view
Still I hope, my journey leads to you

yabs

I went out this morning
To see for myself
What I needed
To prove was true

That my old world,
The past life I lived,
Was never worth
What I thought it did

With my own eyes
I finally saw
What so many
Have told me before

I feel no pain
Nor any regret
For all that has passed
From then til now

It was predictable
And pathetically concealed

I ask not for apologies
I ask not for explanations
I honestly don't want you
To be part of my daily existence

I just want this deception
To completely disappear
So I may live my life
Happily, without any of you

yabs

A mildly cloudy day
As I headed out
To where I pleased
For another lazy afternoon

People walking
Some smiled
Some stared
Most others did not care

A slight drizzle
Led me to find refuge
In this comfy chair
This cozy ambience

The rain began to pour
Passers-by weilding umbrellas
As I sipped this coffee
Lightly flavored with chocolate

Slightly distracted
From a pleasant conversation
By the world of busy-bodies
Moving to and fro

Content among the corners
surrounding this congregation
Of thoughts, feelings
And soft-spoken opinions

A lazy afternoon
Within a busy world
Enjoying a moment
That I'm pleased to call mine

yabs

Since I met you
I fail to see
What others find
In other people

Being yourself
Is so special
Coz You're not just you
No, not to me

You're the you
That sparks my interest
The you that found me
When I lost myself

The you that knows me
More than I know myself
The you who answers
My questions with me

You're the you
That's different
Yet still quite similar
To who I am

You're not just you
You're a whole lot more
You're the you
That makes me "Me"

yabs

I wake up
And open my eyes
To the sight of clouds
The sound of rain

A cleansing symphony
Washing yesterday away

Each drop of rain
Inspires a million writers
A myriad of words
A downpour of thoughts

These tears from the heavens
Beckoning to be honored

For me the rain
Brings back memories
Set into my poems
Of days that have passed

Until the rain that I awoke to
Lulls me back to sleep

Where I can dream
Of the sunshine that follows
After the rainfall
The beautiful cleansing rainfall

yabs

You've sparked my interest
Just when I decided
To live alone
Without cares or fears

Unknowingly,
You reel me in
With my one weakness...
My uncontrollable curiosity

Now I am here
A slave to my wonder
Working hard to find
What and who you are

You have improved
The person I have always been
Lessened my vices
And led me away from depression

Your words are alluring
Encouraging me to smile
It feeds my inspiration
And leads me stand proud

yabs

All I have seen
All I have heard
All I have felt
As a participant
And as a by-stander

The arguements
The verbal back and forth
Of indecisive people
Trying to be "mature"
In this immature world

Waking up admittedly,
Willing to forgive
To kiss and make-up
And eventually, inevitably
To fight soon after

Deciding to stop
Yet constantly pondering
Wondering about each other
Hoping they are also in pain
Hoping they feel guilt or remorse

Pretending to be strong
Saying "I will survive"
But as you know
From years of experience
Words do not fix things

Constantly creating stories
Hearing lies, formulating rebuttals
Retaliating with lies of our own
Making issues with no backing
Carelessly using other people's names

Unable to see ourselves
As utterly selfish
And completely immature
Sad and pathetic
Promising and compromising

yabs

She lay in the dark
In this deafening silence
The scent of "Dama de Noche"
Filling the already thin air

The creaking of the house
Sounds from all around
Untraceably haunting
And yet eerily intriguing

Denying the fear
That the army of pillows
Surrounding her attest to
Providing little comfort

The lighting that she braces for
And the thunder that rumbles
Rain drops by the millions
Amplified by the night's stillness

No light to quell her thoughts
Nobody to keep her company
Except the creatures and entities
That centuries of fear have created

Rooted in the fear of the unknown
Her racing heart beats tenfold
And she loses herself in terror
Never to escape the abyss