yabs

In the bright days
Of stolen Joy
And the Peach-hued agony
Of what really is

I walked alone
Thinking she would come
Hoping that my faith in people
Would finally be rewarded

That the risk of falling
Was worth the risk of being saved
To overlook and be deaf
To the signs and words around me

As I willfully gouged my eyes
To achieve this blindness
Only to see clearer
The truth I thought I could avoid

Certain of what I felt
Ready to trust in honesty
The raw fuel of my downfall
Mocking me relentlessly

My love wasn't a mistake
But my trust was...

yabs

Are you happy now
While you're with him
Knowing he's lying
To keep you there

Are you happy now
While he sweetly whispers in your ear
Knowing that those very lips
Uttered such harsh words before

Are you happy now
While your heart has taken him back
Knowing that he's hurt you
So many times over

Are you happy now
While you're locked in embrace
Knowing he ran away
And left you to fight on your own

Will you be happy still
While you swim in confusion
As one that truly loves you
Has been hurt so badly...

...and has long gone away

yabs

A second a day
Of a smile taken back
From missing to missed
From bliss to memory

What was real
Of a love professed
Once in view
Now fading fast

The soulful minx
My heart learned to crave
Turned by temptation
In to this ocelot of confusion

And for this I waited
Bore myself, my vulnerability
Just for her to disappear
Without words nor reason

No more… I won’t be a fool (again)

yabs

Lost between the light
In the shadows of words
The insincerity of human nature
In the conflict dishonor

Of forbidden thoughts
Laced with eagerness and fear
Unable to justify
Craving this insanity

Left to willfully sin
To languish in guilty pleasures
To quell a bitter emptiness
Rooted in the undying past

And be disappointed
With increasing magnitude
Day by cursed day
Pain on top of pain

Until my bed calls me home
From yet another day
Of losing who I am
And becoming who I'm not

yabs

First time that writing
Music and imagery
Have not comforted me

My words saturated
With an unfamiliar blankness
And a drive so weak

The notes I play
- The beats danced by so many
Insufficient to wake me

Photographs so creative
Seem like a blank canvas
Empty and devoid of meaning

I am lost in my confusion
Betrayed by my smile
And a slave to my actions

All because I'm lost
Lost for an unexpected reason
Lost for her