Loud mouthed fools out for attention
Uttering "Intellect", "Mentality" and "Genius"
Discussing topics at the top of their voice
With no regard for the people enjoying silence

As if speaking loudly increases intelligence
Scanning the venue to see who's looking
To see if their performance has been noticed
Speaking in "the language"  but sounding unnatural

Ruining a peaceful day
With epiphanies of the inconsequential
Enunciating every syllable
in a cacophony of gibberish

The annoyance so quickly established
That cannot be easily dismissed
A voice that echoes the room
And shatters all train of thought

Oh how I wish he would shut up...

I am a student
Schooled in the turmoil of depression
The quick triggers of stress
The silence of pain

Of the words spoken in anger
The heavy weight of hate
An uprising of discontent
An education that led to fear

The screams of conscience
Uproar of instincts
As basal as the unintentional
As blind as selfishness

I am a student
Of quick words unthought
Rash actions of passion
Deep thought of the impossible

I am a child of the planned
But the offspring of the unprepared
I am a student of the darkly loved
The secretly admired and the openly spurned

I am a student of experience
Suprised by my ignorance
Speechless before the things I know not of
Always humbled and caught unaware

Orange chicken - Asthueteng Manok na maraming arina (ala malabnaw na Ketchup)

Sweet and sour pork - Baboy in Banana ketchup

Chili Con Carne - isang latang beans at tatlong butil ng giniling

Pork and beans - beans (yun lang or minsan may konting taba ng baboy)

Soup - tubig at asin

Siopao - "pusa"

Bulalo - buto-buto

Pizza - tinapay na may ketchup at green peas

Special Fried rice - lumang kanin at tira-tira

After dinner dessert - sigarilyo at tubig

Brewed coffee - instant coffee na timplado na

Whole chicken - apat na leeg, isang drumstick, 3 pakpak at 2 pwet

Chef's soup - sabaw ni manang/katas ni uncle

Prime rib - butong walang karne

Chef's Special - "aso"

Lumpiang Shanghai - shanghai wrapper lang na deepfried

Sunny side up egg - itlog na kahapon pinirito

Eggs benedict - "ser ano po yun?"

Buffet - punuin ang plato at huwag na bumalik

Double porkchop - dalawang manipis na hiwa galing sa isang porkchop

Boneless bangus - bangus na maraming tinik

Mixed seafood - squidballs, fishballs, isang tahong at 2 tentacles ng pusit

Sherbet - dirty icecream

Tokwa't Baboy - tokwa't sibuyas

Sizzling Mixed Sausages – Rica, Vida, Fresca, Roels at malalaking hiwa ng sibuyas sa malamig na hot-plate

UNLIMITED RICE – madaming lumang kanin kahit ilang beses kumuha… pero ang ulam mga limang kutsara lang

Beef with Green Peas – green peas with some beef

Bottomless Iced Tea – habang kumakain ka iniiwasan ka ng waiter. Pag paalis ka na, dun lalapit para pupunuin baso mo.

 

…

Coffee Shop Braggart: "Kaya lang naman ako bumabagsak kasi nacha-challenge instructor ko kasi mas matalino ako sa kanya..."

Unemployed By-stander at the Store: "Loko yun, kala mo kung sino. Di niya ba kilala kung sino ako?"

Overheard statement in a heated debate: "Tsong, Kung di mo kilala si Fuma Lei Ar sasapakin kita!"

Gay guy at the next table looks around and loudly says: "Haay, ayokong ilabas lufttuft (laptop) ko. Di ako mayabang e. Pangbahay ko lang yun."

Obviously-Old Lady with young men: "Nagugulat nga sila e. Akala nila 26 pa lang ako e 43 na ako (ubo)."

Girl at the bar trying to get attention: "May Bailey's Ba kayo? E ang Frozen Margarita niyo magkano? Ay wait... meron ba kayong REDHORSE?"

Another Braggart: "Iniwan KO yung car KO sa apartment KO... Wag na natin kunin andun PARENTS ko e... baka magalit."

Scooter Boy: "Hinde pare pramis! Nasa SCTEX ako dala ko yung SCOOTER ko. Walang sinabi yung NINJA BIKE pare... iniwan ko siya. Mga 180 yata yung takbo ko."

Nonsense Boy: "Actually tiga states talaga ako. Sa Clipornya ako LUMAKI. Pero dito na ako sa pinas magmula nung kindergarten hanggang college."

Saucy Girl: "Whatevaaaah lang... WAAAat-evaaa"

Pinoy Gangster Kid: "Yowwww Daawwwgg! How's my peeps in the house? Yey-yeay-hhh!"

Foreign guy with friend walking up to the Bar saying: "Les go uph therrr. Trust me, we'll F**k all de Gerls."

Guys in a Fight: "Tang-I*a ka! Piliin mo binabangga mo! Di mo ako kaya!" (Said while running away)

...

(a REALLY drunken work)

O how I wish Love
Was like a pandesal
A craving that is
Easy to obtain
and satisfying

O how I wish Sex
Was like a Pandesal
Hot and steamy
You can make sawsaw
so many times in the coffee

O how I wish Happiness
Was like a Pandesal
When you're sawa na
You can put palaman
and it's good again

O how I wish Understanding
Was like a Pandesal
Sardinas, cornedbeef, tuna
Itlog, sausage, ham
whatever you put, It's all good

O how I wish the government
Was like a Pandesal
You can make pili
And there's no daya
Even if there's daya... hindi ka maghihirap.

O how I want Pandesal right now...