yabs

I want a virgin

Fresh and unpolluted

Innocence so soulfully divine

One who sees everything in a new light

One who appreciates all my gestures

Be it miniscule or extravagant

One of whom every kiss

Is pleasantly spine tingling

One who would let me hold her hand

For the sheer pleasure of being with me

One who blushes when I say she's beautiful

And realizes the value of my efforts

One who has not been corrupted

By clichés and the passé

One who does not know how to pull strings

Or aim to control men like marionettes

Where the veil of concealment and lies

Do not corrupt nor taint us

Where honesty and trust are not second to fear

Yes I want a virgin... a true virgin of love.

yabs

Within this deafening silence
Lies one so mournfully solitary
Saturated by sorrow
Yet unable to cry

Within this evening
Of sweat-drenched discomfort
And cold cold mornings
Of unbearable aches

Each day is an attempt at life
Mocked by a failure to truly live
A search so desperately needed
But limited by the chains that keep me bound

Do I smile at contentment
For the limits it deems acceptable?
Or spit in the face of fear and uncertainty
That petrify me to where I stand?

Can I bear to lose what I desire most?
From it's idealistic pedestal it shall fall
All hopes slapped with reality
The faintest memory wiped from my very mind...

yabs

I wish to not sleep
So that I cannot recover
From the very real problems
That procrastination dismisses

I wish not to sleep
To realize the stagnant life
That should slap my face
The reality that I should address

I wish not to sleep
Because sleep is a reward
For those who know it's value
And deserve a moment's rest

I wish not to sleep
So I may be sickened
By what's in front of me
And finally desire something more

I wish to never sleep
Because the goals of importance
Fade in value and urgency
In the morning I wake

yabs

I am intrigued by the silent
In their passive mystery
I am impressed by the voices
Of those who can sing

I fall quite blindly for grace
In every move a dancer makes
I swoon over words carefully thought
As a writer, a poet, an aimless romantic

My knees buckle at smiles
Those wholeheartedly given
I applaud the weak
Who choose to appear strong

I bow my head to the choice of change
Those who take pride in their self-reinvention
I am inspired by the thought-immersed
In their drawings, photos and opinions

My weakness lies in my desires
My weaknesses are the strengths of others
My Weakness is my fuel and my encouragement
My weaknesses are those I want to find in love

yabs

If only this smile
Could cure loneliness
Like the nectar
That attracts bees

Like the intricate patterns
In everything random
Or the the grace in nature
That demands amazement

If only this smile
Could heal all wounds
Dismiss all fears
And clear all personal bias

Only then I would be happy
Finally ready to take the next step...
But a smile can only take you so far
Where reason and bravery set their rules

I smile everyday
Despite what others don't see
I smile because that's all I have...
Wishing this smile could mean more