So much lost in such a brief time. So many promises abandoned like a wreckage at sea. Sinking into the deep coldness of the eerie ocean bed. Never to be rediscovered and never accurately remembered. Stories retold with so many details forgotten, overlooked, omitted... To relive these final days, where plans are broken and hope abandoned, peirces this presently weakened heart, this abused psyché... For what ends does the soul try to recount what it has no real knowledge of? Problems burn like wildfire amidst the fragile frame of a life that resembled a sane existence. Answers come slower. Slow like so many unwanted wounds, waiting for the right time to be healed. This pathetic frame has lost it's self-respect and devaluated it's already poor self-worth. Cursed to a life not made for promises... with no capacity for fulfillment. Where lunacy is the only answer and real hope falls short of being attainable. No change in sight for the millions of individuals led to be hurtful and hateful beyond the pre-fabricated ideas and questions.

By word of mouth
By faith in truth
With no doubts or fears
No scrap of proof

Another day
has dawned again
One step further
away from pain.

In the events
that have come to pass,
I risked it all
just to make this last.

From the rain that falls
on this bare metal roof
to the belligerent rantings
of a conscience aloof...
 
Everytime I close my eyes
the truth is shown.
Haunted by memories
not my own.

Drifting in and out...
surviving the aftermath
Walking down
this beaten path.

No silver lining
or spark of wonder
knowing her heart
had loved another.

Taking the risk
attempting to fight
no longer wary
of what's wrong or right.

Living this life
as this life should be lived...
forgetting who laughed
forgetting who grieved.

Beyond the flowery words
and poetic bliss
Even before the fights
and the clenched fists...

Before the cheesy lines
and late afternoons
Before anyone noticed
how you bloomed.

I saw you
and that spark within
didn't need to wonder
what could have been.

With no hesitation
even though it was rude,
I seized the moment
and made my move.

Shy and sweet
and harmless was I,
I tried my best
to catch your eye.

We went on
against their words
making sure that
we were heard.

We failed once
We faltered twice
We watched this union
lose its spice.

And now we find
ourselves so torn
We lost what we once
called our own.

Where to go
What to do...
did you leave me?
did I lose you?

It came to me
all was clear
beyond the questions
above the fear.

Though you don't sing
I hear your song.
Though you're not lost
here you belong.

We erased the past
decided to stay...
knowing our tomorrow
began today.

Tears rolled down
the truth revealed
confessions made
to mend and heal.

Forget the doubts
Leave the fears
One more try
for all the years.

Place the blame
come what may,
Refuse to linger
but choose to stay.

Can't pull us down
not anymore
because today
we settled the score.

Forget the past,
but remember it well.
To get to heaven,
you went through hell.

The past may haunt
from time to time,
the pain will sear
strong then sublime.

And though those times
when weakness looms
We'll show the world,
that our love rules.

Don't bow your head
or stay in shame
To see you sad
will cause me pain.

Despite the past
beyond the hurt
We'll prove to all
what love is worth.

You're still the one
who holds my heart
I'm the fuel
you're the spark.

The world crashed down
as time revealed
that it is not so simple
to mend and heal.

Try as we must
we suffer to pass
the trials and queries
brought before us.

In days to come
my venus and I
strive to see
eye to eye.

The pain of honesty
equated to lies
we pray will pass
or slowly demise.

We held souls
our hearts entwined
it gives us strength
that light, we'll find.

She carries a burden
as heavy as my own.
We carry a love
inscribed in stone.

Staying the course
sharing our lives,
living the dream
I see in her eyes.

Struggling with the past
so hard to forget.
Still living on love
we had when we met.

It may not be magic
there may not be signs.
But I swore I'd save her heart
Like she saved mine.

Thousands of islands
so many places to go
still my heart
comes home to you

Empty soul
full mind,
Staying, waiting
praying for a sign

The world turns
as I lay still
still trying to climb
that premordial hill

Set all hopes
raised all dreams
placed on a pedestal
unclear and unseen

Moving up
crashing down
banking on possibilities
Mine but not my own

Sleeping, wailing
knowing nothing is sure
unable to decipher
what is real and pure

Counting my blessings
and the tragedies past
finding myself
among this rowdy cast

The stage was mine
for a second or two
took my bow
now starting anew

Unsure of life
investing in love
praying day and night
to the power above

Give me strength
show me the path
reinforce my affairs
stay in the aftermath

I love who I have
I cherish what I gained
I remember what I lost
Counting what remained

Now I begin
Step one, step two
ready to go again
for my love of God and You

Wanted to be the hero
to curb unjust paths
Wanted to be the savior
with pure and honorable acts.

Believing in the power
that right wins wrong
Singing about morals
but having unheard songs.

Now I can see
the trivial things I've done
Now I know people are solvers
and most can work alone.

I was a man of illusion
forcing my concocted cure
preaching what I knew
but the effectivity unsure.

Selfish to a point
a thousand ego boy
predicting my chess pieces
as if life was a toy.

Today I stop whining
forcing my own fix
but refusing to bend sideways
from all these worldly tricks.

I know I have not changed
though I strive to be better
but atleast this time of trial
has made me one notch wiser.

I write and talk like many
but my heart known by few
Now you know my story
the rest is up to you.

Sometimes forgiveness
is not the answer
the heart never always
ends up the winner.

I bore my heart
and sacrificed all
but the world does not crash down
just because one falls.

Great it would be
if we could just melt in the rain
wash our lives away...
cleanse us from the pain.

But life as we know
doesn't work in such simple acts
we live to accept lies
and live to accept facts.

If our souls were gifts
we could give away
then many men and women
would have trinkets of our souls today.

We cannot really give
we cannot really ask
to change the scarring events
we carry from our past.

For us to move on
is an awesome step indeed
our love hungry minds
have a heart and soul to feed.

So I end this chapter
filled with dilapidated leaves
waiting for fate to come
and do it's over due deeds.

To all the people
I fought and hurt along the way
Apologies are in order,
for you I kneel and pray.

Goodbye's are not forever
Hello's are always there
That's what God has taught me
That's how God has cared.

Naalala ko ang "Puno't Dulo ng Pag-ibig" nakakatuwang maisip na ang 
katotohanan pala ang kaisa-isang bagay na kahit bali-baliktarin mo e 
nakaka-iyak na nakakatawa.

Minsan tuloy mapapansin mo na bawa't tulo ng laway, lobo ng sipon o 
talisod ng taong mahal mo ay nagpapalakas lang ng pag-ibig niyong dalawa. 
Lalabanan mo ang kahit na sino makapagsama lang kayo ng bansot, 
mayabang at nakakalbo mong boyfriend o kaya'y ang peklating, maskuladong, 
pilya mong girlfriend. "O pag-ibig na makapangyarihan, hahamakin ang 
lahat..." ika nga. Love is blind sabi ng iba (Diyos ko, napakatotoo!). Tapos 
pag nag-away kayo o nag-hiwalay magmumuryot ka sa isang sulok na parang 
naluging Pakistani.

Paksyet ha. Noong nagliligawan pa lang kayo puro ngiti at kindat. Tapos 
tuwing may tampuhan may pakipot pa, para lang lambingin nung isa. Asan 
na ba ang mga araw na yun? Haaay nako. Kung iisipin mo ang laki na ng 
nag-bago. Pero teka, kailangan bang magbago? Hindi di ba? Matamis ang 
pag-ibig... Pag mapait na para sa panlasa mo, e di budburan mo ulit ng 
"Love" para sweet ulit.

Pag mahal mo kasi ang tao maaalala mo siya kahit saan at kahit anong 
oras. Maaalala mo siya habang naka-upo ka sa trono at jume-jebs, maaalala 
mo siya pag kinagat ka ng lamok, maaalala mo siya habang nangungulangot 
ka (O, pinahid po pa sa pader! Nakita ko yun!).

Maguumpisa kayong manamit ng magkatulad kahit hindi kayo sasayaw. Sabay 
manood ng korea-novela na kunwari corny daw. Mabango ka sakanya kahit 
hindi ka pa naliligo at amoy palengke ka pa. Tatawa siya sa sasabihin mo 
kahit di ka nag-joke. Matutuwa ka sa kababawan niya. Seksi siya kahit 
tumataba dahil sa mga tsokolate na binibigay mo (iba naman!).

Away-bati kayo. Makikita ang kahinaan ng bawa't isa. Minsan uulanan 
kayo ng sandamakmak na pagsubok. Sorry siya, patawad ka. Patawad ka, sorry 
siya ulit. Mamaya-maya tawa na kayo. Magkatabi, hawak-kamay. Nalimutan 
na ang away. At ayun habang yakap mo siya at binibigkas ang matatamis 
mong salita, matatahimik ka... Humihilik na pala siya. Tulog (aruy!).

Tapos pagka-lipas ng ilang taon at katakut-takot na problema, uuwi ka 
sa bahay mapapa-isip, ngingiti at sasabihin sa sarili, "Mahal ko pa rin 
siya..." at andun siya naghihintay sinasabi sa iyo ang iniisip mo. Yun 
ang pag-ibig.

Words exchanged
Pains aired-out
Reasons given
Clarified doubts

Still she's stuck
remembering the past
Unable to admit
that the memories
still last

She collects her songs
writes down her quotes
All about no regrets
and her undying hopes

She's changed so much
while I watch her disappear
Her secrecy and sensitivity
leaves me in fear

I lie alone
even when I'm beside her
because I know her heart
belonged to another

Each day she makes an effort
to not hate that man
despite the facts
despite the clear plan.

This proves what is unseen
beyond any doubt
that her heart goes against
what comes out of her mouth

How simillar blindness is
with the idea of hope
walking into danger
tightening the rope

I hold on
while she lives each day
Wishing that she'll stay
but afraid she'll push me away

And still I stay
with hopes pushed high
that she'll realize the truth
and whole-heartedly say goodbye